Blog Candy

I have been tagged by Judi. Normally I don't do the survey thing, but I feel like my last post makes me look like a real hater (you would agree if you'd seen her, though). I've been getting in trouble lately for hating on my page. (Speaking of which, she – if you know who I'm talking about, good; if you don't, don't worry – actually did really well at the Vineman 70.3, which may just make me mad enough to set a world record or something, who knows.) So in a hurry to put something else up that is not raining bad vibes on real people, I will post this survey.

If you could have any one — and only one — bike in the world, what would it be?
The free bike that my sponsors give me when I'm a pro bike racer. They would make sure it was top-of-the-line, and best of all, it would be free.

Do you already have that coveted dream bike? If so, is it everything you hoped it would be? If not, are you working toward getting it? If you’re not working toward getting it, why not?
I LOVE my current bike. My bike is my boyfriend. It is everything that I hoped it would be and more.

If you had to choose one — and only one — bike route to do every day for the rest of your life, what would it be, and why?
It would be an imaginary rout. It would be 100 miles long, have some major climbs in the middle with lots of fast descents and hairpin turns with no traffic, then lots of flat, flat, flats. And there would be TONS of well-equipped gas stations with bathrooms and bike racks along the rout.

What kind of sick person would force another person to ride one and only one bike ride to to do for the rest of her / his life?
Someone who thinks that writing silly surveys makes him/her God.

Do you ride both road and mountain bikes? If both, which do you prefer and why? If only one or the other, why are you so narrow minded?
Never ridden a mountain bike. Looks fun and scary and dirty. I would try it if I could get a nice bike for, say, $20. But since I think mountain bikes cost a bit more than that, my mountain biking career will just have to wait a few years. And anyway, mountain biking really looks like it would hurt your crotch.

Have you ever ridden a recumbent? If so, why? If not, describe the circumstances under which you would ride a recumbent.
No. I think recumbents are for fat people who can't get into the right position on their road bike because of their intrusive gut.

Have you ever raced a triathlon? If so, have you also ever tried strangling yourself with dental floss?
Yes I have raced a triathlon. No, I have never tried to strangle myself with dental floss (although sometimes it makes my gums bleed), but it sounds like more fun than running at the end of a triathlon. I will certainly give it a try soon.

Suppose you were forced to either give up ice cream or bicycles for the rest of your life. Which would you give up, and why?
Ice cream, duh. Why would ANYONE worship a food so much that they would give up their favorite hobby for it? That's stupid. Anyone who would give up biking for ice cream is probably already too fat to ride his/her bike anyway and probably already rides a recumbent, which I would argue is not actually cycling anyway.

What is a question you think this questionnaire should have asked, but has not? Also, answer it.
Why do people write these silly blog/myspace/facebook surveys? I don't know. Why do people respond to them?

You’re riding your bike in the wilderness (if you’re a roadie, you’re on a road, but otherwise the surroundings are quite wilderness-like) and you see a bear. The bear sees you. What do you do?
Kill it and eat it, then use its pelt to line my saddle.

Now, tag three biking bloggers. List them below.
Saddle Sores and Crotch Rot
Chamois wedgie
You CAN get road rash in an ice rink