Hey there, Waldo Watchers!
1. becoming rich by not working, and
2. moving to San Diego where they have no weather.
This week winter has set in in Boston, and the temperatures have barely gone above freezing in a week. This inspired me to make an uncharacteristic move on my two life aspirations: getting rich in San Diego (where there is no weather); I looked at job listings.
As smart, and witty, and charming, and irresistible as I am, I have practically no marketable skills. I speak Spanish, but that's hardly a commodity in a town that is a stone's throw from Mexico. I have a degree in Language Studies, a hybrid between Spanish (as we've mentioned, useless), and Linguistics (good luck finding a job that makes use of my ability to use the word "clitic" in a sentence without giggling). I am not good with people, I hate children, and I am a horrible salesperson. There were times when I worked customer service jobs when I actually paid part of someone's bill out of my own pocket because I knew they were being gypped. I have editorial experience and love my job, but moving to Southern California for publishing is like moving from Colorado to Florida for skiing.
So after scouring Monster.com, Careerbuilder.com, and Craigslist.com for jobs requiring my specific skill set (someone who hates working in anything that's not all about herself), I decided that my best option was to look for jobs as a writer. There were all kinds of cool listings: copywriter, ghostwriter, journalist, but the problem (other than the 3,000 miles that separates me from these jobs) is that one needs a writing portfolio to apply for such positions. So I'm working on putting together a writing portfolio.
And that's why I need your help.
See, no one knows my writing as well as you do, dear readers. I am not stupid enough to include any of my blog posts, complete with spelling errors, mis-quotations, and f-bombs to anyone on whom I would like to make a good impression, but I would appreciate feedback on where my strengths and weaknesses lie.
I am aware that I go on for too long, and in pieces that matter I do work on curtailing this. I have a problem with run-on sentences, comma usage, and I am working on pruning my extraneous details and non-sequiturs. But what do YOU think? I would really appreciate any feedback that anyone has, good or bad. I can be a grown-up and accept criticism, but if you are uncomfortable telling me to my face, feel free to leave comments anonymously.
To jog your memory, here's a list of the posts from the past year and a half that were the most fun for me to write (in no particular order). Of the ones you have read, please tell me which ones you liked/didn't like (for writing, not content) and why, or feel free to bring up examples from other posts that I did not mention.
1. Showdown! – The Lobsterman race report where I edged out Anne to be the baddest assest of them all.
2. I WILL NOT BE IGNORED!!! – My meeting with the Cunt on a Pink Bike
3. Legend of the Gadfly – Loon Mountain Climb race report
4. A Race Report all about PEE – Patriot Half Ironman race report
5. Hairy Men, Girlie Men, but not a lot of Wo-men – Race report from the Hairy Man triathlon where all the "cool kids" were.
6. In the Mountains No One Can Hear You Scream – My ride in the Adirondacks where I decided never to do Ironman Lake Placid for as long as I live
7. Chillin' in Maine – Race Report from the Maine Running Company's Mid-Winter Classic where I met Mindy and Nitsirk for the first time, and introduced all y'all to Blair.
8. Bushwhacked! – My first encounter with Grandpa
9. At Least the T-shirt Fits – A race report from the tri-trials Barcelona sprint triathlon
10. Suicide Ride – My first ever century ride
11. A Letter to the People Who Share my Workout Spaces... – Gym pet peeves
12. An Epic Bike with the Dirty Old Men – Why I eventually left Spain
13. No Wetsuit, but I've Still Got On More Than You – My open water swim with the Soggy Homos, (to see the pictures that went along with it, read this one)
Again, thank you. I really do appreciate any feedback that anyone could give me.
~C
PS Has anyone else been having problems with gmail, blogger, and firefox in general since the new gmail themes came out? I've been having problems with pretty much every aspect of my internet usage with pages not loading properly, etc. Is it just me???
14 comments:
A vote for the soggy homos, hairy man and I will not be ignored, granted depending on who your applying to I might leave out I will not be ignored, nothing would suck worst than if your writing for like her sports monthly and you're bad mouthing girls in pink skirts, with pink bikes.Or you're liberally using one of George Carlin's 7 dirty words and are applying to be a writer for a teen sports magazine. What I'm surprised din't make the list were some of your AIDS lifecycle posts, which I feel were really personal and writen with a lot of emotion.
Crap woman! I don't know what to write... sorry.
My feed back, you are WAY honest and that is a breath of fresh air in this life... you tell it like it is even when it is not too much fun to hear...
Chin up Claire, there is your perfect job waiting for you...
i need to go read those posts. i will.
i havent had any problems w/ gmail or blogger or anything.
p.s. spinervals kicked both mine and d's asses. trashed legs.
I think the best advice I can give you for writing is first to figure out who your audience is (certain publications or populations, etc), and then write in a style that is targeted to them. My newspaper writing is WAY different than the stuff I churn out on my blog - and if I were writing for a different publication, I'd change yet again. You can still keep your voice withing various lengths or formats, with enough practice.
Depending on the context, there may actually be a place for your long-winded, excessively graphic, frequebtly foul-mouthed exploits (this is California, after all), but other times, not. Good luck finding what you're lookking for.
San Diego? Really? I know it's too cold around here in the Northeast, and I'm no fan of it, either, but San Diego?! Guess I probably just pissed off somebody from San Diego.
Anyway, what Donald wrote above is about what I'd say. There are different ways to write (like: postmodernist philosophy vs. an Ikea bookshelf manual). You knew that already, but it's hard to offer suggestions on any of your 'other' writing styles. On the other hand, you knew that (see, I'm throwing around clichés, and parentheses, this is my blogger comment writing style).
You're blog writing is damned good. I'm not saying that just because I've seen you look relatively happy after two marathons this year. The reason it's good, is that many of your blog posts have stayed with me. You effectively translated your experiences well enough for me and other folks to remember them. That counts. I, too, cannot forget those soggy homos, or Vineman, or wandering around Barcelona in an emotional daze. Yes, at times, you do go on, but I do , too, we are blog writing, no rules. And it's your voice, you found it, you're there. Just translate that for the professional world. Easy to say, and harder to do, I know.
I'm a real critic when it comes to bad writing styles, and I don't have any problems with yours.
OY...cranky!! What's wrong with San Diego? ;-)
I'd have to agree that you need to figure out what type of audience you are going for. Some of your sarcasm makes me think of the column in bicycling that gives sarcastic humor on fashion in bicycling. Maybe try pulling some of these together, honing them in for a mass type of audience (ie...easy with the f-bomb), but still keep some of the sarcasm and 'pitch' more of something that embodies. That could be one avenue.
So...San Diego...eh? The lack of weather is quite nice! Although the way people talk about it you might think that we have weather around here.
You know there's a whole slew of Christian right conservatives in San Diego, right? Right?
Writing: You are a good writer. I'd hire you, but only if you'd hire me back. As a writer, I mean.
I say just apply for everything. Getting anything will get you out there and paying rent. Then you can figure things out for real.
I know we know your writing more than anyone, but it's hard to give advice without knowing what you're applying for, and also b/c, well, I'm not employed as a writer, do I have no clue. If you figure it out, please contact me immediately.
for checking out jobs, you may want to try www.indeed.com; it pulls from all job posting sites. good luck!
Hey beeahtch, I've mentioned to you more than once to publish your shit as a book of short stories or something like that. I always get completely drawn into your posts and I really really really like the way you do that to me. If you don't find a job that suites you, make a job up for yourself and start your own raggedy publication, magazine, book, tabloid, coffetable book, club, band, org, com, biz, dot dot dot.
And for the record, you had me at NO WETSUIT GIRL over many many posts ago.
OK, I'm gushing like a love struck Romeo but damnit, I like you...and your top 10. All of them.
Hugs and...well, you know.
A. "clitic"? Hehe.
B. You're moving to San Diego? I'm moving to Boston next year! Fuck.
C. I'll peruse your previous posts in detail this week, and let you know what I think. I'll help with editing and such also, if you want the help of an English Major (read: another useless liberal artist).
Not hating on San Diego, but the whole right-wing, Stepford Wife aspect is what I was alluding to. Ask me when the temperature in NYC hits 20 degrees again, and some idiot delivering chinese food on a bike runs me over, and I'll be booking a one-way ticket to SD in no time. But I have to ask: why doesn't anyone jaywalk in San Diego? Last time I was there, pedestrians were standing at intersections with NO TRAFFIC on the road, just waiting for the walk sign to light up before crossing. Weird.
Oh yes, a No Wetsuit/Speed Racer anthology is kind of a nice idea. Would make a nice holiday gift!
Sand Diego...need a roomie? We can hit on athletic women together.
San Diego...stupid keyboard, my work key board sucks..crap the last check was for $100 and I added and extra 0 whoops.
Hey, supporting yourself as a writer in San Diego would be tough. Keep working on your craft in your free time. Apply for any job or how 'bout Triathlete Magazine and see if you can get in the door that way. If you want a job in the ad biz, you'll need a really good portfolio which means professionally done layouts. It's not an easy field to break into. When I worked in Boston as a junior they said there were 200 applicants for every junior copywriter job. With the economy down, well, you can guess. They call 'em pink ghettos for a reason. If San Diego is your dream, go for any job you can get. Work on that short-story collection at night, etc. Shooting for the ad biz will just slow down your move. There aren't a ton of agencies in San Diego. And expectations will be high. Maybe shoot for a marketing job with a wet suit company or some other tri-related company instead. Then you can write and do other stuff too. Want to see what copywriting portfolios look like? Go to creativehotlist.com. Your junior book will need to look BETTER than lots of experienced folks because your work hasn't been killed or altered by clients yet. You'll need to show that you can follow a strategy and not just be creative for the sake of creative. Email me off-line if you want more info. sixtwothreetries@gmail.com
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