My Running is selfish, it wants all of my time. Swimming is easy and unassuming. Swimming doesn't demand great time and commitment. I am not great at Swimming, but this does not ruin my race. Two to three dates with Swimming a week and I can hold on to the top 20%, extra time with swimming would not buy me a competitive edge. So swimming and I have a good relationship. Swimming doesn't ask too much of me, I do not ask too much of Swimming. Biking and I are in love. I want to elope with biking. Biking doesn't demand too much time from me, but we always want to be together anyway. Biking and I are intimate. Biking treats me well no matter how much time we've spent together. Biking and I go on romantic day trips to the country. But Running... running is a little bitch.
Running makes me feel bad about myself. Running makes me feel ugly and oafish and stupid. Running is a little slut, she gives it away to everyone but me. I work hard, and Running still would rather hang out with those other chicks in running skirts and make me jealous. I buy Running all kinds of gifts, and Running makes me sick to my stomach. Running beats me up so that I can barely walk and then demands that I give her some more.I want to break up with running, but I don't know how. We've been together for so long now, we have so many plans... If I break up with Running now, we can't go to Mexico next year. Running and I already have tickets to go to Disney World, so we have to make it work until January. I have so many friends through Running, and if we broke up, Running would take the friends with her. Running is the partner that you can't get rid of, because Running is down for anything. Running doesn't demand a lot of money. It's easy to travel with Running. It doesn't need any special accommodations. So I can't think of a good reason to tell running to fuck off. Not for long anyway. I try to break up with Running, but I always come crawling back for one reason or another: time constraints, equipment problems, bad weather, nighttime workouts. Running is the only one that's down for these things.
So running and I are in a fight. We keep flinging insults at each other and giving each other dirty looks across the room.
"I hate you, Running!" I yell.
"You treat me like shit!" Running yells back. "You never say you love me!"
"Well I don't love you! How could anyone ever love someone like you?! You make me sick!"
"You never give me enough time! You're always looking for excuses not to be with me. Why should I treat you better?"
"I dread coming home to you, Running! All day I think about how much I hate you, and then I have to come home and be with you anyway. You bitch and you moan, but I spend 5 days a week with you, Running! You get more of my time than anyone! And, Running, I think you're cheating on me with Anne."
14 comments:
Running does not like me either. And I'm in love with her. She makes me feel happy and alive. Tenemos que hacer que correr se enamore con nosotras.
That definitely sounds like one dysfunctional relationship! Running has been a little tease lately, but I'm waiting for the day when she turns around and spits on my shoes and walks away. I'm projecting that will happen sometime around...say...January 11th..??
As much as you hate running, that video above wouldn't be nearly as funny if you had never finished one of your many marathons.
I swear, every time i watch that video I laugh so hard I cry.
I think I had the same bad relationship with running up until I learned to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. Now running and I have a great relationship and poor biking is feeling neglected and swimming is pining for me to come back. They treat me nice when I do spend some time with them but I think that running called them up and told them to back off for a while.
We will see if running and I will have a good time on Sunday.
Again, Claire...fricking hilarious! And, I totally understand your relationship and your feelings about Running...what a bitch she is!
Just yesterday, Running had me feeling like a big, fat, clumsy oaf! She does a number on my self esteem on a regular basis. A very abusive relationship I have endured, indeed! If you figure out a way to dump her, let me know!!
Good luck making it work until January...but please don't break up with her before then because then we won't get to hang out while you are here in FL.
PS-
Running makes me cranky and hateful!!!
Jen: Running makes me cranky and hateful too! It makes me want to kick children and push old ladies when they get in my way. You are so right! Thank you for saying it!
....wait...kicking children is not ok?
ha ha ha, yep, running is cheating on you with me, we are sneaking out...shhhh... but I can tell running is just using me, no love!
Hey, nice abs! I checked out that photo you put the link for on my blog... good job Claire with staying fit!!
I found your blog through judi's. This post had me cracking up. I feel that way about biking. Always ready to ditch it! Oh, and about the kona slots, they determine it based on the percentages of who starts the race. Most US based IMs have 70-80 total slots (10% go to pros) the rest to AG. If Cozumel only has 50, then your AG would 'likely' have 2. Good luck!
But back at the Hartford Marathon *even* with a bad foot it seemed that you and Running were at least becoming somewhat friends again? Yes, Running is a fickle beast and has been inflicting more un-necessary pain on me and reminding me that while a year has past since I really pissed off Running, Running has not forgotten such an injury and has insisted on *reminding* me...too often. I don't know how to break up with Running. Good luck with that.
I think you believe that running loves everyone but you, but that's just not true. Running is tough love; you have to love her despite the fact that she beats you up and makes you hurt. She's more abusive than swimming or biking, that's true, but she has a lot to give and you are SO FOCUSED on how she loves others more than you that you are not letting her show you how good she can be.
That is the absolute best description of having a 'relationship' with Running I have ever read...EVER!
You nailed it.
I hope you two can work out an understanding and share the love you both need. You need each other and you both know it.
Good relationships take time to grow together. Hopefully not too much time.
Running is a fickle beast, yet for all the pain it causes me I can not tear myself away from it.I guess we have an S+M realtionship.
Cycling on the other hand has treated me like a whore. It has knocked me out, left me bloody, broken, and concussed on the road side after stealing my lunch money and slamming me into a truck, yet somehow I've become a stage 5 clinger and can't let go.
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