The Alps, Day 1: Geneva

In case there was ever any doubt that we were riding what the REAL TdF riders ride, there was real painting on the road to prove it. This is just one example. The climbs were long and they were hard, but they weren't IMPOSSIBLE. The rides in the north east aren't that long, but they go straight up and over a mountain. If the mountain has a 15% grade, the road will have a 15% grade. In France, the mountains were steep, but the switchbacks meant that you kept a pretty constant grade the whole way up. So it hurt, it just never hurt MORE. Unfortunately, my Garmin deleted all the data about grade and elevation profiles, etc by the time I got home. I'm crushed about it, by the way.

Shane and I picked up our Renault Kangoo at the airport where all the EuropeCar employees said they didn't speak English... and then conducted the transaction in decent English anyway, then we packed up the car and hit the road. France was TINY! For some reason I had it in my head that it would take us 24 hours to drive across, like Texas, but in about 6 hours of driving we had crossed France and were driving through the Alps next to the Swiss border.

We were going to ride around Geneva, but then we realized that Switzerland wasn't part of the EU. So rather than dealing with customs and another currency, we just stayed on the French side of the border. We scoped out some nice, hilly stretches of highway, and pulled over on a turnout to sleep in the car for the night. The first thing we realized: We had no utensils. So Shane and I ate pasta salad and cold mashed potatoes using an empty margarine container as a spoon to shovel it into our mouths.

We didn't want to leave the bikes outside the car, so we shoved them to either side of the trunk, put all our stuff (including my bike box) in the front seat, and hunkered down for the night. It was a pretty uncomfy night, I have to admit. The bottom of the trunk was tilted, so I kept feeling like I was sliding down towards the bottom. Also, I'd skimped and bought the cheapest sleeping bag they had at Decathlon: a 15º (celcius) bag, meaning it was no match for the 40ºF night. When we woke up, I was frozen, relieved that I didn't have to lie in that car anymore, and ready to start riding.We rode a roughly 60-mile loop over some small mountains, but when we were getting back into town, we lost the road in a maze of traffic circles. "I think it's this way," Shane said, leading me over a freeway overpass, and then up a one-way street.
"I really don't think this is it," I insisted. This highway was supposed to meet up with the one we were parked on. Why would we have to take a 1-way street? We should just follow the highway down farther!
"Well town is roughly in this direction, so I think we should just see what's down this road..." Shane insisted.
"Alright, we can ride down it, but it just looks like a neighborhood down there. I really think that we should follow the highway a little further rather than getting lost in some neighborhood that may or may not get us to town..." I was willing to play along. I knew I was right, but I don't know why I HAD to make him see that he was wrong. Maybe something to do with how stupid it was to stick to your guns that going the wrong way down a one way street was the way to go.
"Fine, we'll try it your way!" (somewhat angry).

Lake Geneva, before the blow-up. This was going to be our mascot, since both Shane and I hate being in pictures. He only made it into pictures that one day though. Actually, I'm kind of glad. it was a dumb idea anyway.

I was right. We hit town, but then there was another traffic circle. "Now what do we do?" I asked.
"Well there's one of those little bike trail signs. We saw it yesterday, we should follow that."
"Shane, we've been seeing different bike trail signs all day! There are 30 different trails. That's not the same one as we saw this morning. We're on the XYZ trail, and that's pointing towards the ABC trail!" I still knew I was right, and now I didn't feel like him dragging us on a wild goose chase.
"Fine, if you know everything, then why don't you lead us back to the car!" I hadn't been mad until that point, but now I was.
"Fine!" I said, and sprinted off. I was sick of slowing down for him. I shot off west-ish (the sign was pointing south-ish and it turned out that the car was north-ish), but my temper tantrum was hindered by a light, and he caught up to me. As soon as it changed, I was off again, and when I turned around, he was gone. Fuck. I had been right and gotten us to a place that Shane recognized. But Shane had been the one driving, so he knew his way around town while I had been paying attention to maps and tour books, not the roads themselves. Pretty soon I figured out that he'd figured out where he was, and had made a turn, letting me go on and get lost by myself. I was FURIOUS! After I'd already kept him from getting lost twice!

When I finally found my way back to the car about 20 minutes later (I was only lost for about 5, but then had to climb about 8K up the road back to the car), he was already packing up the car, eating a sandwich and listening to music. I was fuming. I threw my bike on the ground and stormed off. My helmet fell out of my hand. I realized it looked like I threw it. Good! I thought. Let him know I'm mad! I huffed away, and when I'd finally calmed down, I walked back to the car and started pulling my bike apart.
"Are you done now?" he asked, like he was dealing with a child.
"ME?! That was way the fuck out of line, Shane! Don't you ever pull a stunt like that again!"
And then we had a screaming match. Knock-down, drag-out, where things that I will probably never be able to fully forget were said. But what else could we do? We were stuck in the middle of the woods outside Geneva in a place where neither of us spoke the language. We had to stick together. We sullenly climbed back in the car and set off towards Alpe d'Huez.

To see the rout we took and elevation profile, click here.

Next up: Peril and mechanical difficulties on Alpe d'Huez, and what can go wrong when you stick a banana in your cycling shorts...