IT'S DONE!

For various reasons I have been under pressure to sign up for a number of races in the next couple of weeks. In addition to that, my contract is up at the end of February, and who knows when I'll be gainfully employed again. In past years I have been sidetracked from "going all the way" for financial or personal reasons. I feel like this is the year that I'm finally going to "pop my (ironman) cherry", but I don't want to "blow my (cash) wad" too soon. Not this year. So I did what any reckless spender would do: when I realized that money may get tight, I made sure I blew it as fast as I could on the big stuff. But, the important thing is that I'm in. I am now officially signed up for my first iron distance race! I am GOING to do Vineman on August 2nd. But don't go thinking I'm "saving myself" or anything. I've never been one for training monogamy, and my dance card is already quite full of races that I plan to do this season. But let's not get ahead of ourselves. The following is a post I had already begun compiling before I sat down on a whim and threw down $295 for what will probably be the second most painful day of my life. (To find out what number one was, you will have to keep reading). So here is a post I was going to call:

Peer Pressure is a Powerful Persuader

My mom loves to talk, a lot. We send her to the supermarket for milk and lose her for 4 hours because she's talking to everyone. And because she's my mom, she LOVES to talk about me... to everyone, absolutely everyone. She'll tell someone about the last thing I did with Angry or Bob in Connecticut and they'll will say, "Oh, how did she meet them?" When mom says, "The internet," people give her all these weird looks. Aren't you worried? Why do you let her do that? Everyone knows that the only people you meet on the internet are murderers, creaps, and perverts.

But it looks like more and more of us bloggers out there are daring to meet those "creeps and perverts" in person that they meet over the internet. Angry met Leana a few weeks ago in Disney World, and has started talking to Rocketpants regularly on the phone. I'll be meeting Mindy and Nitsirk for the first time in a couple of weeks up in Maine. I've also had the privilege of hanging out with Cranky. And who knows what other juicy gossip has been going on behind my back.

I've gotten a little bit carried away lately, adding race after race to my calendar. I'll be running Boston with Cranky (well not WITH, more like "way behind") even though I have no right to since I'm not qualified, or signed up. I have also already signed up to do the Goofy Challenge next year in Disney with Angry and perhaps Leana, Rocketpants, Bob, Mindy and others. And, since I'm really too competitive for my own good, there's talk of a little wager between Angry and me: whoever has the slowest cumulative time over the course of the weekend will have to dress up in a full Tinkerbell costume (sparkley make-up and all) and get in line for Splash Mountain at the time when lines are at their peak (hence a longer wait in public dressed as Tinkerbell) and then post the picture that they sell you of your face at the top of the big drop.

I love to race. Really. I'm such a t-shirt whore, I'd do anything for a t-shirt and a goody bag filled with pamphlets and sample packs I'll never use. I don't "race" in the competitive sense of the word. When you're as slow as me, that's just silly. I go out there to have the roads closed for me and people feeding me for free as I work out in a new place. I race to have something to write about every Sunday afternoon. Races are my perpetual carrot on a stick that keep me honest during the week. And, of course, I race for the t-shirt. Burnout? Me? Impossible.

If you would like to join me at any of these races (or you just want to write and say hi), you can always email me at speedyspeedracer@gmail.com.

So here is a more complete list of previews of coming attractions for 2008:

Derry 16 miler on Jan 26. I've told you about this one. I've heard that it is painful because they cram 3 huge hills from mile 9 on. The main goal of this race will be not to spend the whole time with Thom.
Midwinter Classic on Feb 2. I've told you about this one too. I'll finally get to meet Nitsirk and Mindy. They're looking for volunteers, by the way, so if you want to stand in outside in Maine for 2 hours early in the morning in February and hand out drinks, let 'em know. You probably won't get wet either, since the weather promises to be cold enough to turn Gatorade to slush.
Martha's Vineyard 20 mi on Feb 16. I picked this one solely for the post that I could write about it. You'll just have to wait and see.
Hyannis Half Marathon on Feb 24. I've already told you about this one. High Anus, hehe. I'll be seeing Mindy here too.
Stu's 30k on March 2. I've already told you about this one too. You know as much as I do.
Eastern States 20 mi on March 30. This is the one that goes over 3 states in 20 miles. I'll be meeting up with Mindy again here. I really hope she's cool, I'll be seeing her 3 times in 2 months.
Boston Marathon on April 21. I'm not qualified, and won't until the qualifying times come down to me in about 20 years, but since the marathon is right in my own back yard, I believe that it is my god-given right to run it as a bandit. So I will. Cranky will be there, he earned his slot the honest way (and in that dreadful Chicago race, no less), and I'm sure a good time will be had by all.
Urban Dare on April 26. I am SO excited about this one. Basically what it is, is a giant scavenger hunt around Boston. The use of cell phones and GPS devices is encouraged. I am desperately seeking a partner for this, and if you don't know Boston, who cares? Neither do I. It'll make a better story that way.
Some Duathlon or triathon in Hopkinton, MA on May 4. Can you tell I'm not too thrilled about this one? It feels like in multisport sprint events you spend more time setting up your transition area than you spend racing. But, you gotta get some practice in there somewhere I guess. Blah. Where IS Hopkinton, anyway?
Spring Century on May 18. This is more like a big group ride than an actual event, but it'll be my first official century, ever (that happens when you live in a place that doesn't measure things in miles).
Lifecycle on June 1-7. 545 miles from San Francisco to LA to benefit the San Francisco AIDS foundation. Please, please make a donation at www.aidslifecycle.org/2275
Mt Washington Road Race on June 21 is a 7.6 mile race up the tallest peak in the White Mountains, with more than 5,000 feet elevation gain. Registration is 100% lottery, so it's possible I won't be able to participate. We'll see. But if I do, you can bet that I won't take the t-shirt off for at least a week.
Cranmore on June 22. This is a 5.2 mile course where you run up a local ski mountain TWICE.
Patriot Half on June 29. This promises to be great fun because not only will such superstars as ironBob and perhaps Angry be there, but Cranky will be making his triathlon debut.
Lune Mountain Run on July 6. A hilly 10k with 2887 feet of elevation gain, and only half as much back down.
Peaks to Portland on July 12. Based on Nitsirk's recommendation this is a 2.4 mile swim. It remains to be decided whether I will wear a wetsuit or not. I would have to buy one first, though.
Climb to the Clouds Century on July 20. Just a local club's century ride that goes up Mt. Wachusett, MA's half-assed attempt at a mountain.
Vineman on August 2. Yippee!
Mt. Washington Century on August 16. A century ride finishing with the 7.6 mile 5,000 foot climb up the tallest Mountain in New England at the end. I know that this is a silly idea just 2 weeks after an ironman, but I can't help myself. I can always drop out later, but can you IMAGINE the clout I would get wearing the jersey?
Wicked Half Marathon on September 27. I can't seem to find the page for this one anywhere, which is worrisome. (In the past) it is (was) a half marathon in Salem, which I thought was dreadfully clever for the double entendre of Salem's connection with witches and Boston's tendency to use the adverb "wicked" like it's going out of style (or I should say like it never did go out of style). Leana
Stonecat 50 mile trail run on November 9. Although if my training isn't on par for a 50 by November, I'll just downgrade it to the marathon-distance race on the same day. I HAVE done one 50 mile event (more of a hike with an elevation profile I have never seen the likes of even as a joke). I finished, but should have wound up in the hospital. I had to take a nap to gather the energy to walk across a parking lot about the size of a small school cafeteria.

And, of course there's Disney. Angry will be there, as well as POSSIBLY Leana, Rocketpants, Iron Bob, Mindy, Cranky (although he doesn't know that he's in our crosshairs yet), and... YOU!

Note: Sorry the links are missing to other bloggers' pages. They can be found on my sidebar. I just couldn't be bothered to go through and do another 20 links again. Call me lazy.