No Wetsuit Girl is at it again!

Too much has happened these past 2 days to let go by without telling you, so this post will be broken into 3 chapters.

Table of Contents

Chapter 1 ............. Picking Up Where Santa Left Off
Chapter 2 ............. I've Had Bad Dreams Like This
Chapter 3 ............. The Triumphant Return of No Wetsuit Girl

Chapter 1 Picking Up Where Santa Left Off

I had a very nice Christmas, but there were still a couple of things that I hadn't asked Saint Nick for. So this weekend I went on a shopping spree. First, I got me a set of these:

They go to one of those:
Which meant that I could get one of these:

Which means I can do this again:
But since my old (and beloved) ones had started to get moldy waiting for me, I had to get new ones of these:

and a sleek new

And also I got a new one of these (my old one stayed in Spain):

... And I was ready to rock and roll.

Chapter 2 I Think I've Had Nightmares Like This

If you're not going to drink, and are not willing to be a designated driver, there isn't really much to do on New Year's Eve. Mom and Dad had left to go to a nice 7-course dinner and dancing, my ass hole brother had slithered off to do whatever it was that he did last night, and I was just settling down for a long night of CSI reruns and writing during the commercial breaks when the phone rang. It was Chang Cheng, my best friend's (and neighbor) 17-year-old foster brother from China. He's only been here for about 2 years, and he's a ESL kid in high school, so he didn't have anyone to hang out with either. "Do you want to come over and play some games with us?" he asked. Sure, why not, I'll be over in an hour.

I don't know about in China, but in the US, usually you tell someone if there's going to be a party. By the time I realized what was going on it was too late. All the mothers and fathers of all the people I haven't seen since high school (nor have I wanted to see) were all sitting around the table drinking old people liqueurs till they were just the other side of tipsy. And they'd spotted me! It was too late to get out now. I thought there would be nothing worse than being the only sober one at a party, but there are several things worse. You could be the only sober one, and the only one under 60 (except Chang Cheng, who was hiding in his room). That room could be filled with the parents of all the people who you hated in high school, and haven't wanted to see since, and now you have to ask about them and say, "Tell her I said hi". Then, all those tipsy AARP members could go home and say to their awful offspring, "You'll never guess who I saw last night... Claire! I don't know what she was doing there, she must not have had anyone to hang out with... No, no, she wasn't drunk... I was surprised too... She asked for nonalcoholic champagne, it looks like she's actually cleaned up..."

Mortifying. Positively mortifying.

Chapter 3 The Triumphant Return of No Wetsuit Girl

I had planned on doing an indoor triathlon at my new gym to celebrate the new year, but after the humiliation of last night, I really wanted to do something crazy that no one else would do to make myself feel better. I wanted to know that while all those people with friends were sleeping off their hangovers, I was actually doing something to celebrate the new year. So I went on Cooll Runnings, and found a fun run called the "2nd Annual Old Silver Beach Run and Dunk", a 6-mile fun run followed by... a Surprise (have you guessed it already?). I hopped into my snazzy new ride and inhaled the sweet new car smell the whole 1 1/2 hour ride down to Cape Cod. It was a toasty 42* when I got out of the car at the beach in North Falmouth, but what I hadn't counted on was the 20 mile per hour winds. That would really suck when it came time for the Surprise (do you know what it is NOW?). There were about a dozen people in the parking lot waiting to start the run, most of whom where huddled in their cars for warmth. Then, ever so slightly, it started to rain. Cold, blustery winds, and rain: fantastic running weather. Fantastic beach weather.

brrrrrrrrrrr

At the strike of noon (or something like it), a group of about 8 of us took off to run the full 6 miles. People would meet us along the way to do shorter versions of the run, and some had already left to have time to complete the course. The idea was for everyone to finish by 1:00 for the big Surprise (you can use one of your guesses now). Our little group was off like a shot over the rolling hills of Falmouth (which I think I've complained about before). In the small group there were about 5 men, 2 other women, and a 12-year-old boy who were off like a shot. I was keeping up, but I was huffing and puffing pretty badly. By the halfway point almost everyone had pulled ahead of me, even the 12-year-old. I was running like my pants were on fire, wheezing and wondering if I could find my way back on my own. Then I heard one of the two guys I was desperately hanging on to say to the other, "That's half way, and it's only been 24 minutes. We're making pretty good time." Twenty-four minutes for 3 hilly miles?! No wonder I was gasping like an asthmatic fat kid in gym class. After that I gave myself permission to let off ever so slightly. My pants were driving me nuts, they kept slipping down over something slippery and d lycra under my running tights. Why wasn't I wearing regular underwear? It's all part of the Surprise.
I came back in to the parking lot, a not-too-too-distant last behind everyone else (including the 12-year-old) after a mere 51 minutes and 25 seconds. I had a side stitch and my stomach didn't feel so good. I might have been delirious too. I couldn't believe what I was seeing, the parking lot that had been nearly deserted when I left was PACKED full of cars and people. Most of the people were shorter than me and didn't look like they'd lost all their baby teeth yet, and I couldn't believe so many people had come for the Surprise. I couldn't believe that so many parents would let their little kids participate in the Surprise (Okay, last guess, do you know what the Surprise is? For a hit look at the arrow in the picture).

At 12:56 everyone filed down to the beach and took some pictures. At 12:58 someone blew a whistle and we all started stripping. I was wearing my long-sleeve surfing top that Mom thought was a running top (see, it was good for something), and a bikini bottom (which was what my pants kept slipping on while I was running). And at 1:00 they blew another whistle and about 100 people let out war cries and dashed into the water!

I ran in until the water was up past my belly button, dunked up to my neck, let out a blood-curdling scream, and dashed back out of the water, up the beach, and to my car. And to tell you the truth, it really wasn't all that cold. The water was about 41*, and since no one was in for very long, it didn't have time to lower your core body temperature. And then all the blood rushes back to your skin and you feel warm. I know you won't believe me, but I swear, I didn't even shiver. Given, I was back in my car in a flash. Let me tell you, changing your underwear while trying to keep a towel on your lap is hard enough, but with a steering wheel in the way, it's a whole new league. I also got sand all over my brand new car. Oops.

Now that I was dry and warm in my super-un-sexy-but-wicked-comfy flannel-lined jeans and about 4 layers, it was time to move on to the next step of my New Year's Triathlon. I drove directly to the gym and swam 1500m. As I was getting out a man with one leg came up to me, "You getting ready for those triathlons?"
"I am, actually," I said. It turns out that One-Legged-New-Friend-Mike is a serial Boston Marathoner, has attempted several ironmans, and is an ultra-endurance open water swimmer. With one leg. We talked for about 10 minutes about training and he threattened to make me do some sets of 50s on a minute. Speed, yuck. I hope I get to talk to One-Legged-New-Friend-Mike more often in the future.

Finally, I came home for the last leg of my improvised New Year's Triathlon. I biked an uneventful 2 hours. Actually, that's a lie. It wasn't uneventful because A) I got to try my new HR monitor (confusing), and B) I figured out why my bike kept wabbling and coming loose and fixed it.

I believe that however you spend the first day of the year sets the patten for the rest of the year. Let's hope that 2008 is full of: lots of fixing my mistakes, making new friends, doing crazy $hit that no one else would want to do, playing with new toys, and of course, lots of fun racing and training.

Happy New Year, folks.