This morning I woke up and thought it was Friday. It's not. Is there anything worse than thinking it's Friday and then finding out that it's not?! I think not.Things have been kind of ho-hum in Claire world. Nothing really interesting has happened, and work has been a bit crazy, so I haven't had much energy to devote to my blog or yours. Sorry. Here are some things that I considered posting about, and then lost interest:
I did a 90-mile ride last Saturday with over 6,000' of elevation gain/loss. It was supposed to be 110 miles with an additional 500 feet or so, but I missed an arrow and cut out 20 miles by accident. I'm really excited to find so much hilly terrain in my own home state, even if I do have to drive over 2 hours to get there. You should do this ride with me.
With fall comes running in the dark again. I did my first dark run on Tuesday. I thought that since I was going to be running on the same sidewalk with no major intersections and lots of lights that I could get by without a headlamp and crossing guard vest. Wrong. A car slowed down for a stop sign and then rolled right on through, almost over me. I thought they'd seen me crossing, I was staring right into their windshield, I was only a 2 feet in front of their bumper... and then 1... They kept rolling. I'd already passed half their car when they started accelerating. They almost hit me. I hate wearing my crossing guard vest, but I love having use of my lower limbs.I'm running again, by the way.
Anne broke 1:50 in a half marathon. Damn, now I have to go beat her or admit defeat. Fuck. Shortly after Anne finished, the youngest competitor in the half marathon came busting in for the final lap of the field before the finish. He was 8-years-old. He broke 2 hours. A few minutes later, with just over 2 hours on the clock, his 10-year-old sister came in. Both looked strong, but I kind of think their parents should be arrested.
I mapped out my cycling season for 2009. It includes a lot of road racing, but even more brevet-style ultracycling. I'm going to try to qualify for RAAM. I'd have two chances:1. Do the Saratoga 12/24 race (I did the 12-hour last year) and complete 400 miles in 24-hours.
2. Win or come in within 15% of the first female finisher in the Adirondack 540: 4 loops of a 135-mile course that overlaps with the Ironman Lake Placid course, plus another 79 miles for extra credit. I've done 90% of this loop before, and it made me cry.
Once one qualifies for RAAM, they have 3 years to actually do the event. So qualifying doesn't mean that I'll have to drop my life immediately to ride across the US in a little over a week right away next June.
Should I do Timberman? I need to decide by Friday.
I was going to write this next part in Spanish to discourage careless commenters, but after actually SEEING what an online translator would do to my beautiful writing, I decided to just write in English. So if you're a careless commenter, just comment on the shit above, okay?
So anyway, I'm slipping. I don't know why I've been wanting to get absolutely plastered recently more than ever. On a scale from 1 to 10 (with 10 being "dropping whatever I'm doing and running to the liquor store for a 12-pack of microbrew"), I've been hitting an 8 – "I'm too lazy to get up for it, but if it were placed in my hand I wouldn't put it down" – at least once a day. For the last six months or so, most days I usually top out at about a 5 (a long hesitation, then, "No thanks, I've got to be up early tomorrow").
Maybe it's because for the first time in over 3 months, I finally have a driver's license again (I lost mine 4th of July weekend and for a whole chain of fucked-up reasons I couldn't replace it). Every time I see it smiling up at me I think, "That's my ticket into any bar in the country!" It's pretty pathetic when you're 25 years old and still excited that you're over 21.
Maybe it's because the days are getting shorter, the temperature's getting colder, and I have no choice but to sit around and think more. There's no better supplement for thinking (and for feeling) than alcohol.
Maybe I'm lonely and depressed and just don't know it. Anyway, for whatever reason, every day I'm finding myself completely absorbed in the thought, There is absolutely nothing stopping me right now. If I were to drive to the liquor store, buy a 12-pack, and drink it, there would be NOTHING to stop me. I could do it. Addicts relapse all the time. It would be so great to be drunk again... When I say "completely absorbed", we're talking "stopped to think and forgot to start again" absorbed.
Whatever the reason, I need something, some new challenge, some obstacle, something (other than everyone I know telling me that they would kill me) extra to get me through this little micro-phase. I'll let you know when I find it, but for the last time, it's NOT going to be AA...
So that's it. Bye!
11 comments:
On the timberman, thing...I voted no ( which means you will most likely do it.) but don't use it as your last prep for mexico..it's too early to be "last" prep, Nutmegman in CT is a week later or Mighty hamptons on long island in late September/early Oct. might be a better warm up test,but if you do have fun because it s an awesome race.
Also if you need a support vehicle for Sarratoga next year let men know.
Bobby: Who said "last" prep? I was thinking a tri-season kick-off.
Timberman is a great course--and a first-class event. I say Do It. I have a friend who did the four person RAAM thing. Crazy shit. And you're talking doing it alone, right? :)
As for the second part. hmmm. Prozac, maybe?
How about writing a book about training?
Stay strong.
Why do you have to be so fucking stubborn? Why are you afraid of AA? What if I could hook you up with someone cool in AA in Boston? Not like I have a load of contacts but I do have a few. It's just a thought.
I know it's hard Claire. For whatever reason, you are having the usual cravings we all have and it's up to you NOT to pick up that drink. Think about the consenquences. You'll get wasted. You'll be all pukey the next day, you won't be able to get up for an early workout, long or short, and you'll smell like puke and alcohol for days. Sound fun? NOT. I want pills all the time. I was at my Mom's last weekend and she just got a new script. I didn't even try to go to her upstairs bathroom cuz I knew I would take a couple. It's hard. Sucks to be an addict/alcoholic. But you can't change it. "accept the things you cannot change...."
Go for Timberman.
Hey, can you please tell me how to look for these long endurance cycling events? I want to do a long race too. I think these ultra cycling events have made you such a stong cyclist.
I think your stubbornness is your biggest attribute Claire! Well, one of them anyway. The thing that is stopping you (and starting you for that matter) is YOU. That is HUGE!
When you do RAAM can I please be a part of your crew? Okay, so you probably want someone who knows something about bikes. Don't be so picky! I can drive a support vehicle, and inspire you by telling you how John Kerry could kick your ass!
Whew, Judi really stuck it too you. I know it is probably no help, but I always think about it in terms of money. For the cost of that case of Dead Guy Ale, I could have 1/5th of my total payment for a new pair of carbon tri shoes that I really really need.
I also think about my last hang over and how absolutely awful I felt. I don't want to do that again no matter how much fun i had when I was lit.
Do Timberman! Keith puts on awesome races and you will not be disappointed.
Mary: Haven't we had the Prozac conversation before?
Gretchen: You can DEFINITELY be on my crew! I'll give you the pointiest poking stick of all!
Liz: For the price of one Timberman entry I could have bought myself 167 bottles of Smuttynose IPA. That's like TWO WEEKS' worth of hangovers!
What the fuck?! I'M RUNNING YOUR GOD DAMN CREW!!! I pick who will be on the God Damn crew, and it's only going to be pretty gals. And me.
Oh, and I'm drinking so you don't have to.
If you start drinking copious amounts of alcohol, you'll get fat. And if you refuse to stop training for fear of fatness, you should definitely be afraid to drink for fear of fatness.
I know how you feel though, if it's any consolation. Fall is a hard time not to have anyone around who understands you, or who at least wants to.
And you would kick ass at cyclocross. I know there are races in Boston. Cute chicks there, too.
Yes, I know ho-hum. For me, it's arriving next Monday, after my next race, although I feel it already. I hate November and February, something about the month before the last and the month after the first of the year that makes me want to give up.
Don't let it get you drinking, though. 'Down time' and antsiness and scheduling Timberman a thousand years from now in training time is not an excuse. You've got a marathon in January, right? Start getting ready for that.
I've been thinking about you and your silent blog. Thanks for checking in! It sounds like people gave you some great advice and I couldn't really say anything better. Except that I want to see you in January kicking my butt on the marathon course and showing me how you really race Goofy.
Post a Comment