This morning I woke up and thought it was Friday. It's not. Is there anything worse than thinking it's Friday and then finding out that it's not?! I think not.Things have been kind of ho-hum in Claire world. Nothing really interesting has happened, and work has been a bit crazy, so I haven't had much energy to devote to my blog or yours. Sorry. Here are some things that I considered posting about, and then lost interest:
I did a 90-mile ride last Saturday with over 6,000' of elevation gain/loss. It was supposed to be 110 miles with an additional 500 feet or so, but I missed an arrow and cut out 20 miles by accident. I'm really excited to find so much hilly terrain in my own home state, even if I do have to drive over 2 hours to get there. You should do this ride with me.
With fall comes running in the dark again. I did my first dark run on Tuesday. I thought that since I was going to be running on the same sidewalk with no major intersections and lots of lights that I could get by without a headlamp and crossing guard vest. Wrong. A car slowed down for a stop sign and then rolled right on through, almost over me. I thought they'd seen me crossing, I was staring right into their windshield, I was only a 2 feet in front of their bumper... and then 1... They kept rolling. I'd already passed half their car when they started accelerating. They almost hit me. I hate wearing my crossing guard vest, but I love having use of my lower limbs.I'm running again, by the way.
Anne broke 1:50 in a half marathon. Damn, now I have to go beat her or admit defeat. Fuck. Shortly after Anne finished, the youngest competitor in the half marathon came busting in for the final lap of the field before the finish. He was 8-years-old. He broke 2 hours. A few minutes later, with just over 2 hours on the clock, his 10-year-old sister came in. Both looked strong, but I kind of think their parents should be arrested.
I mapped out my cycling season for 2009. It includes a lot of road racing, but even more brevet-style ultracycling. I'm going to try to qualify for RAAM. I'd have two chances:1. Do the Saratoga 12/24 race (I did the 12-hour last year) and complete 400 miles in 24-hours.
2. Win or come in within 15% of the first female finisher in the Adirondack 540: 4 loops of a 135-mile course that overlaps with the Ironman Lake Placid course, plus another 79 miles for extra credit. I've done 90% of this loop before, and it made me cry.
Once one qualifies for RAAM, they have 3 years to actually do the event. So qualifying doesn't mean that I'll have to drop my life immediately to ride across the US in a little over a week right away next June.
Should I do Timberman? I need to decide by Friday.
I was going to write this next part in Spanish to discourage careless commenters, but after actually SEEING what an online translator would do to my beautiful writing, I decided to just write in English. So if you're a careless commenter, just comment on the shit above, okay?
So anyway, I'm slipping. I don't know why I've been wanting to get absolutely plastered recently more than ever. On a scale from 1 to 10 (with 10 being "dropping whatever I'm doing and running to the liquor store for a 12-pack of microbrew"), I've been hitting an 8 – "I'm too lazy to get up for it, but if it were placed in my hand I wouldn't put it down" – at least once a day. For the last six months or so, most days I usually top out at about a 5 (a long hesitation, then, "No thanks, I've got to be up early tomorrow").
Maybe it's because for the first time in over 3 months, I finally have a driver's license again (I lost mine 4th of July weekend and for a whole chain of fucked-up reasons I couldn't replace it). Every time I see it smiling up at me I think, "That's my ticket into any bar in the country!" It's pretty pathetic when you're 25 years old and still excited that you're over 21.
Maybe it's because the days are getting shorter, the temperature's getting colder, and I have no choice but to sit around and think more. There's no better supplement for thinking (and for feeling) than alcohol.
Maybe I'm lonely and depressed and just don't know it. Anyway, for whatever reason, every day I'm finding myself completely absorbed in the thought, There is absolutely nothing stopping me right now. If I were to drive to the liquor store, buy a 12-pack, and drink it, there would be NOTHING to stop me. I could do it. Addicts relapse all the time. It would be so great to be drunk again... When I say "completely absorbed", we're talking "stopped to think and forgot to start again" absorbed.
Whatever the reason, I need something, some new challenge, some obstacle, something (other than everyone I know telling me that they would kill me) extra to get me through this little micro-phase. I'll let you know when I find it, but for the last time, it's NOT going to be AA...
So that's it. Bye!
