Wait, hang on a second. My last post (which I jotted down in about 10 minutes before I marched down to registration) came off all "sourpussy." I am not a sourpuss. I should say that right out.
I am SO happy to be here. I just don't know how to tell you.
Everyone I've talked to (bellhops, baggage handlers, cab drivers, etc) has been extremely nice. My new homie Jose Luis, who drove me to the airport in Cancun this morning gave me all the tips for how to avoid being ripped off. Everyone I see wishes me luck. Mexicans are nice.
I have not had a run-in with a triathlete yet, but I also haven't heard any of the annoying "Mine's bigger than yours" conversations that annoy me so much at smaller races and that I expected to reach epidemic proportions here.
Perhaps you have figured out that deep under my contempt for other triathletes is hidden a giant tri-geek. Of course I'm hoping to spot a pro and I'm just as curious as everyone else to know if I have what it takes to get a Kona slot. And I am proud of coming this far. I am excited for Sunday's race. I do think it will be a significant experience. It's just... well... I like to keep certain things private. Like happiness.
Some people will never show when they're hurt. I bottle up my happiness. I tend to keep it to myself so that I don't have to give any of it to anyone else. When I'm proud of what I've done in a race, and get that warm fuzzy "YES I CAN!" feeling, I don't want anyone catching me acting like an after school special. For some reason, congratulations make me feel cheap.
I'm kind of jealous of people who can gush about when they're happy and excited and proud. I am in awe of people who know how to accept a compliment and don't just stand there looking confused when someone congratulates them. I marvel at the Oprah crowd that can find an uplifting metaphor in every experience. But at the same time, happy people make me cringe. I want to scream, "STOP! Keep it to yourself! It's private! If you tell them, then they will they will want to tell you about their experience. And then it won't be about me anymore, it will be about them. I won't feel as special anymore."
At the end of the day don't we all do this because we want to feel special? Perhaps more special than every other person walking around this island today (wearing their race t-shirts!)?
2 comments:
Alright, you won't get a congratulations from me, just the 1076 plates of nachos and guacamole you asked for when you come across the finish line.
ok, just don't suck, ok? :)
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